Cyber School Update

So a few have asked "how things are going" with Cyberschool ... I can't answer that :)

We received our materials but not the computer yet, so we're doing our own thing (Monday that involved discussing different Bible translations and translating the "Dude" Budweiser commercial and talking about body language/non-verbal communication, how dolphins communicate using a system of "keys" and how they communicate differently than other animals and in what way.  Also, she rocked the "helicopter" breakdance move, after checking out a YouTube video.)

I anticipate receiving the computer and scanner tomorrow and jumping in - tonight I'm getting a handle on where we'll start in the current module and get my lesson plan book in order.  Awesome!

Letting the Cat Out of the Bag

It's always an adventure here at Maize, Inc.

This week, our new adventure: Cyber School.

In a flurry of tough decisions and amazingly smooth transition, we signed Audrey up for cyber school.

What does this mean??

I have no idea. All I know is that our way was paved. Paved, with a personal invitation, an escort, and a champagne to sip along the way.

Ok, that's an exaggeration. I cried (I love her school, she'll miss her friends, I don't want to make it seem like I'm anti her school, or public school, or her teacher ... nothing!!  I plan to send Ezra next year - and even Audrey, if that's what will work for her, us, etc).

But:

We made the leap. There's not much to say about it other than we're giving it a shot; I only know a little about the program through friends who are involved. I plan to post updates about how we're doing, but not to fear; this is not going to veer into HomeSchoolMammaBlog.  

I post this because it's not a "secret" - but there's no good way to tell people. Honestly the answer to "why??" is "Just Because." It really is. It seems to make sense. It seems to be a good fit. It seems to coincide with our goals as a a family and for Audrey specifically. It's about Doing, not Being. It's also about cyber, and not NOT public school. Make sense? 

Note: mid year? Yes. We went this route so we could give it a try before a whole new year. Because finding out mid-year that it's NOT a good fit and sending her into a new classroom with students already "bonded" and on with their year sounds like a BAD idea. This means I am completely open to the possibility this is NOT the right fit and she'll be returning. Keeping nearly EVERY option open, even the possibility of sending her back THIS year. Just ... we need to try this, so we are. The end.

Fun Fact

It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up.  The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth.  Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all the stomach contents and then swallows the stomach back down.

Do Be Do Be Do ...

God has been prodding me (via others, mostly) about something.

"Audrey, your Daddy and I have been talking about maybe having you do school at home instead of going to school. What would you think of that?"

THAT IS HOW THE CONVERSATION BEGAN. NO LEAD IN, NO WORK UP, NO CONTEXT - WE CAME OUT OF STARBUCKS, GOT INTO THE CAR, AND I LAID THAT ON HER.

I'M SHOUTING, BECAUSE THIS IS THE VERY NEXT THING SPOKEN IN THAT CAR:

"That's exciting! *clasps hands together* You know what? I really like to do research. Like, a book about animals, but not a little book like this with no chapters (makes measurement with hands), but like a big book with chapters so I can find stuff and read about it."

-- no prompting, folks. That's what she had to say about that. Where her mind went FIRST. --

This was accompanied by swinging legs ... the kind you get when you're giddy about a pony ride.

We continued the conversation - we discussed pros and cons. We talked about how this wasn't a "for sure" yet, and that it was NOT a punishment for having problems at school. We also talked about the differences between attending school with her friend(s), and with staying home with mom; this brought tears, as I expected. I asked her to consider which would be more important to her; being at school with her friends or doing school at home without distractions. She didn't hesitate; with tears still streaming, she said, "Doing is more important than being."

Huh.

Fun Fact

A cockroach's favorite food is the glue on the back of stamps.

Happy Sixth Anniversary, to Ian ...

Last year at this time, I was soliciting letters of support for Ian, to celebrate his five years cancer free. Sort of an artificial attaboy from friends and family. We got a few letters (I won't lie - I was disappointed with the meager response). But even as we were celebrating (I bought a commemorative plant for the sanctuary), we sensed an impending damper on our triumph.

I went on a church retreat and spent a great deal of time calling out to God, pleading: "God, he's such a good man. He has such a witness. Please don't take him from us. Please don't take him from his kids!!" And yet, the tingling and numbness in his right side grew stronger.

No need to rehash - you can get into the Wayback Machine here.

What happened in response to that March 2011 "incident," however, was heartfelt, genuine, urgent and immediate. Care and love and support from all sides of the GLOBE. Letters and cards? Sure! But prayers and food and visits and rides.

God didn't spare us the pain and trauma. But He DID see us through. He used us in the lives of others, some we will never meet or know, and for that we are honored.

A year later - what can I say? We're here. Ian's with us. He is healthy other than his affectations/limitations. We are incredibly grateful for the year, the blessings, the lessons. And the miracle.

Happy February 15th = Ian's Sixth year, cancer free.  Amen.

Fun Fact

After eating, the housefly regurgitates its food and eats it again.

Bits and Pieces

So like everything else we encounter in life, this whole ADD situation is a learning experience. You, dear reader, get the benefit of learning along with us, if you so choose.

The first thing to point out is the distinction between ADD and ADHD. The "H" stands for Hyperactivity, and Audrey does not suffer from this particular aspect. She is quite able to sit still, assuming the activity is a challenge and/or captures her attention (hence the issue with behavior in class as it correlates with easy class work). This is also why people are surprised to hear that Audrey struggles with ADD; they, too, have the idea that it is all about having the crazies. Not so.

The issue with an ADD brain is that it is unable/less able to process executive functions; that is, to compartmentalize, to organize, to clear the brain of clutter and focus on the task at hand. All of this occurs (or does not) in the frontal lobe of the brain.

How does this look for Audrey? *

She can't/doesn't withhold information. If it's in her head, it's out of her mouth. (You may know adults with diarrhea of the mouth as well, but that's a different issue ;)  She is especially prone to correcting others, both teachers and other students, at completely inappropriate times. Where as this may seem like "smart-ass" behavior, I can assure you that, in fact, she has no clue that she is being rude; when it is brought to her attention she gets quite upset. We're talking about an obedient (generally), sweet (except to her brother) kid - and when she comes off as bratty and unfriendly, (and it's brought to her attention) she's quite distraught. The crux, then, is that no matter how upset she gets about it in retrospect, she doesn't carry the lesson over to the next time a situation presents itself. There's no "pause => reflect => choose" button.

She is painfully literal. Her verbal and reading skills are amazing, but nuances escape her. She'll miss social cues. Everything is black and white - right or wrong. If the teacher gives a direction which is the least bit vague, she is stumped. Inference and interpreting are surprisingly, for someone so sharp, at times non-existent. The only example I can come up with right now: in kindergarten, her teacher had the class draw pictures of themselves. Mrs. H commented with amusement that when she asked, "Do you have grass under your feet?", Audrey looked under her own chair. The question was not, "does the picture of yourself have grass under her feet?" or "is there grass under the person on your paper?" ... the exact sentence threw her because it was taken at face value.

This literal nature and obliviousness leads to a deficit in interpersonal development. Audrey has more than once hurt someone's feelings enough at school for the teacher to be contacted -- if you know her that may shock you, but perhaps when you hear that she said, "You can't read," to the kid who ... well, can't ... you can understand the issue. It's not that she was saying, "I can read, you can't, nyahnyahnyah," but rather, A=B. "You cannot read. You are not permitted to choose a book from this section of the library based on that fact. These are books for reading kids." In fact, along with ensuring the rules are being followed (another compulsion), I think she actually considers herself being helpful in these situations.

She is accident prone, physically awkward and self-unaware. She isn't phased by hair flying about into her face (which drives me batty, so I can't relate at ALL), into her food ... She's tall for her age, so I was apt to consider her physical behavior the result of lankiness and growth spurts ... but the truth is, she flails, crashes, walks on tip-toes, frequently injures herself in bizarre ways, and lacks situational awareness. Her clothing is nearly always dirty in some way (yes, I know, kids have accidents and spill things, but trust me; this is above and beyond).

I am well aware of how some of these scenarios appear from the outside. If you didn't know Audrey and read this blog, you might think I'm deluding myself into thinking I have an angelic first grader who never does anything wrong, intentionally or otherwise.

Far from it.

You may also insist that "kids will be kids" and "all kids mature at different rates," etcetc. Yes. And no.

I know my own kid, and I know that among her many sins and faults, being willfully disobedient, not attending to what is asked of her, and insulting/being unkind to others are NOT her bent. And pondering some oddities from infant through age seven, I see stuff.

I can't possibly summarize my kid in a blog post, or can I rehash seven years of her life, our lives ... so I'm bound to be leaving out something that help the reader experience a clearer picture. All I can offer is a periodic update on this aspect of Team Maize, thank you for your MANY kind words of encouragement and for sharing your personal experiences -- both publicly and privately -- and do my best to muddle through this parenting thing, one day at a time.

* Note: I hope that in my outlaying Audrey's shortcomings no one thinks I'm using a public forum to bash my daughter. I love her dearly, she is my first born, my sidekick, my mini-me. I watch others "get a load of her" and it makes me smile; she's striking in personality, not because of an attention-seeking nature but because of a genuine interest in everyone and everything around her. She's engaging. She makes adults smile (some kids don't know what to do with her, I think) and she's always ready for a conversation with anyone about anything. I love my daughter, I appreciate her strengths, am beginning to seek clarity on her weaknesses, and I support her all the while.

Fun Fact

The male house wren builds several nests as part of his courtship ritual.  After the nests are completed, his potential bride looks them all over and then selects one as her preferred choice for the laying of her eggs.

And the Light Bulb Comes Out of the Box

If you know my daughter, you know she's bright.

Scary bright, really.

We had her tested for the Gifted program at school; not because we needed a sheet of paper to prove she was a smart cookie; but because this year we've run into fairly significant issues with her behavior in the classroom.

I can hear you, you know - I can feel the vibrations of your murmurings: "SHE'S BORED!!!"

While I don't disagree with you, we've been confronted with a different truth: although not qualified for a Gifted designation, Audrey DOES fit neatly into an ADHD profile.

See, I can still hear you ... stop shaking your head!! Bear with me, ok?

A year ago, or less, perhaps, I would have scoffed at any suggestion of the sort. I "KNEW" ADHD when I saw it ... the boy with ants in his pants who certainly wouldn't sit down to read a book (as she does -- often), is in need of medication (this concept directly in opposition to my opinion about the over-medication of children - I'm a hypocrite, and I'm willing to admit it), and/or a stronger means of discipline.

But after speaking to her teachers, the school psychologist, and an independent psychologist who did a THOROUGH investigation and interview, Ian and I are comfortable with this diagnosis.

In fact, I'm relieved.

It's amazing how filling out those forms with the little check boxes and rating scales gave me immediate grace for -- and understanding of -- my daughter. Being smart doesn't make her able to organize her thoughts, her tasks, her BODY ... anything. Being mature doesn't cover the inability to control outbursts in the classroom and saying things which inadvertantly hurt others. Being 7 doesn't mean she's finally self-aware enough to keep her hair out of her food ... there's simply a missing piece, a brain misfire, an issue in the frontal lobe.

Lord knows the Maizes know enough about the brain to give it due respect.

And so, dear reader, I throw this out to cyberspace for a number of reasons:

1. if you've seen me do what you believe is going overboard in my dealing with Audrey ... shouting, becoming insanely frustrated, making a big deal out of her responses to me, insisting she obey me immediately, getting in her FACE out stuff ... know that these have all become part of my coping mechanism for something invisible which has now come to light.

2. if you have experienced the joy of my daughter (and truly, she is a joy - a lover of people, a charming, funny kid, quirky and crazy and wonderful), you can look for the things I describe and nod in agreement with me ... and perhaps try a different tac if you need to get her to ingest some pertenent information.

3. if you've heard me grumble or roll my eyes about ADHD in general, I'm sorry; it's not that I denied its existence, or even dismissed the need for medication to be given ... just that without a full understanding of the syndrome itself, I was prone to oversimplification and suspicion. For this academic laziness, I apologize.

4. if you've been down this road: we are about to begin our journey of special school accomodations, therapy/counseling and parental education. You may hear about some of it. If you have comments, especially of a constructive, experienced nature, I'd love to receive them. (FYI: we are not yet on a medication plan. This may come later, if the above provisions do not suffice).

The Saga of the Painted (Upholstered) Chair

This summer I did a fun project which elicited much commentary via facebook.

"You're doing WHAT?!"

So I thought I'd lay it all out here, so you can check it out and weigh in if you'd like :)

I was inspired by This Blog and I knew I had to give it a shot! I bought two identical chairs from a friend, fully intending to give them this treatment; the fabric's in great shape, but it's PINK.

Here are the Pink Lovelies, having a chat.

I bought a can of plain 'ol latex paint at Lowe's: I forget the color name, sorry (my neighbor calls it Ooblek Green. He's not far off).

You'll need mixing containers, a spray bottle of water, foam paint brushes (the GOOD kind, not the cheap, crappy ones), a small "regular-ish" paint brush and FABRIC MEDIUM. This is what makes the paint not crack and goo and blick. (Those are technical terms.)  You can find it with the paints at your local craft store - you will need a bunch, depending on your size of furniture and type of fabric.

I'm not going to fuss with a tutorial here - you can visit the above site.  But here are the before, during and after photos.

The chair is not "crunchy." It does not feel like velor, but it also doesn't feel like burlap. More like a starched linen or duck cloth (or painted canvas, naturally).

I plan to paint the other chair, although I we haven't settled on a color yet. Hence, it sits in all its pink glory, awaiting Spring.

eeeew! this could have been discouraging ...

Must. Have. Patience.  This is AFTER one coat.

TA-DA!!

Whaddya think??