It’s been quite a few days since that dismal update. My apologies.
How are things?
I came to dad’s to stay the weekend. He had been having “off” days - lack of interest in eating, Just generally being “down”. The caregivers were concerned.
Over the weekend, his spirits were improved, he has been eating and transferring well, and all goes relatively smoothly on that front. A blessing.
Eric and I spent the day Saturday doing some cleaning. When I say cleaning, I really mean decluttering. I’m trying to clear things out so there is more space and things are more easily done on all fronts. So it was all day going through baskets and bins of things … tedious, but in the long run will help a great deal. Anyway, it took all day to get the dining room mostly cleared out.
Unfortunately, Saturday night I came down with the flu.
Sunday I spent feverish and holed up in a bedroom, terrified of spreading cooties. Two of the caregivers already have/had this. Obviously spreading of it would cause a helper shortage, and God forbid DAD gets it. And so I hide.
Today I am feeling much better - still a fever, but I’m hopeful to be out of bed today and move toward “normalcy”.
How is mom?
In short, she’s about the same, in most respects. She’s still in the ICU while they stabilize her BP, but they feel they are getting closer to having that controlled and sending her to a “regular” room.
I spoke with her this morning. She still has pain all over - neck, arms, shoulders, back. Then again, that’s sensation, right? So that’s a bummer but not a bad thing and not unexpected.
The buried lead: SHE FELT THE PRESSURE OF THEM TOUCHING HER FOOT. She’s been able to make her legs move, albeit slightly. But having sensation is NEW and I find it encouraging, even if it doesn’t mean regaining use. Her upper body is weak and pained, and remembering she is still in a neck brace, she is very limited. She cannot grasp with her hands, although she can move her arms.
So that’s about where we are. The next few weeks will see her moved to a new room and possibly then transferred to rehab. It will see Ezra graduate high school! and take a trip to Belize. Audrey returning from Colombia. It will have me hopping locations from Hookstown to Beaver to Pittsburgh. It will mean being an emotional support to … well, all the people.
There are so many bright spots and blessings throughout this hardship.
The aides who come to dad’s place, caring for him so well and maintaining the home as best they can by “winging it” to cover what mom always took care of.
The ICU nursing staff, who are taking good care of mom. She has no complaints.
My boyfriend, who has bravely entered into Support Staff role for his “new-ish” “adopted” family.
My son, who is the most empathetic, steadfast, helpful, mature young man. He’s made countless trips and done so much work here for them and for me … we could NOT have done this without him.
Lastly - all of you. Asking how you can help, checking in, helping me cover things and take care of tasks to get a little off my mother-of-all plates. If you’ve messaged and I haven’t responded, know that I have seen it and appreciate it and when I get the chance hope to personally respond to everyone.
What can you do at the moment?
Pray for mom’s recovery, however that looks.
Visit them both; mom is fine with visitors, and when she’s moved to a regular room she’ll have her phone and will be happy to take calls. I won’t be able to see her daily, even when she’s moved to rehab, given dad’s situation and having my own home and things to attend to … so any contact from people she knows will be very much appreciated by both of us.
Every now and then I may put a call out for help with something … I guess just stay tuned. I don’t know what the future holds (isn’t that an understatement?!) but having gone through “things” before, I know that “stuff” comes up. That’s about all I can predict.
Much love to you all.
