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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." ~Aristotle

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Monday, March 21, 2011

Tired of Tired (with tired on top)

So, some things about me:

1.  I'm an introvert. If you're unfamiliar with the term, here you go:

Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.  Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to "recharge."

2.  I crave quiet, order and routine.

3.  I have physiological issues with anxiety.

4.  I prefer not to drive farther than 30 minutes away from home (see #3)

5.  I am fiercely independent and have only recently learned not to recoil from asking for help.

I have spent the past two weeks in more close contact and conversation with friends, family and strangers than I ever have in my LIFE.  I have ruled the waiting room with an iron fist.  I have learned how to navigate the doctors, nurses, cafeteria, elevators and parking garage.  I have driven an hour each way on my OWN.

Every day is different.  I'm so tired I can barely keep the plans straight.  Nurses have shifts (and rightly so), doctors go on vacation, patients transfer hospitals.  My kids, who are completely loved and cared for by some AMAZING folks in town, have yet to have a "normal" evening in over 2 weeks.

So.  no conclusion.  Just rambling.  This sucks, and I can't even complain to my best friend about it all.
Oh, but wait!  You want to hear about IAN!

He spent some quality time in this chair three days in a row: (it wore him out something fierce)

Because he was able to ditch the ventilator, he was cleared to head to rehab ... which meant a trek to a different hospital.  This is a GOOD thing.  A positive, proactive step.  Not without frustrations (don't these places communicate? why does the nurse think the reason he takes seizure meds is that he just had brain surgery?  The two are not related, and I had a heck of a time explaining to her ESL self that no, in fact, the brain surgery he JUST had did NOT produce seizures ...).  Why, when they came in and hung him from the luggage-scale apparatus were they off by 10 kg?  (uh, I do NOT outweigh my husband ... not even while carrying an extra person-unit during my ninth month).  Why did it take the respiratory nurse 20 trips in and out of the room to get all the tools she needed for a pretty standard procedure?  Why did it take so long to find an oxygen hookup for a patient arriving with a trach and O2 needs?  Why is the nurse looking at the computer details and the scribbling them onto a half-sheet of paper with no lines?  Gah!!!

The room is nice.  The view is nice.  The helipad is right out the window.  Technically there's a window seat (although it doubles as the air conditioner).  I may even be able to find the place again.  I reserve judgement about the staff until I see some competency.

I'm not discouraged, I'm exhausted.  Maybe gloomy and melancholy, at least in the moment.  I'd ask for help in cheering up, but I have no idea what to suggest!

Ian could use the encouragement; I will be hanging up his cards this week; now would be the time for the gag gifts to come back, I think.  Also, he's supposed to bring in regular clothing ... I was thinking some funny tshirts might cheer him, if you feel so inclined (inoffensive, please?) Nica guys - do you have your shirts made for this year?

Other than that ... it's only Monday of a very long week.  I do my best to update daily but it doesn't always happen, so assume no news is good news and I'll catch everyone up when I can.

*A special, giant thanks to the Hagen and DeJeu families for their selfless giving this evening.  I'm running out of phrases to express utter gratitude.*