I have to write this I have to write this I have to write this. So here it goes.
We had our meeting with the oncologist today. Because of Ian's current symptoms (speech deficit, numbness, etc) he wanted to check for a stroke.
He found zero evidence of a stroke. There IS some swelling. But what accounts for the current deficits is, in fact, tumor growth. This means that within the two weeks since the last MRI, the tumor has grown enough to cause this issue. It is large and on the move.
Preliminary pathology says we think this is still a grade III, not yet a gliobastoma (grade 4). But treatment is the same; based on the speed of growth, he will do chemo and radiation right away. Like- chemo tomorrow if the pills are in.
The rest of the story: the only data we have on recurrence re-treatment is a 30% chance of shrinking /preventing continued growth within 6 months.
If that sounds like an equation you can't decipher, it kinda is. So I'll put it this way: we have a 30% chance of postponing the inevitable and perhaps improving his current symptoms of not being able to talk.
As I type those numbers, I'm fully aware that he has beaten SEVERAL odds. It's just that ... You didn't see the doctor's face.
How can you help? I have no idea. We are planning to attack the tumor with all guns, believe God can do a miracle, and try to do life well with one another. But we are also getting affairs in order and trying to fathom preparing the kids.
There will be rides to radiation needed, we will need outings for the kids, either to give us or THEM a break from this bleakness.
Please don't avoid us. Please don't worry about not having words. There aren't any. We all want to see you. Come and visit. I won't pretend to care about trivial things, but sometimes they are good, needed distractions. I'm an introvert, but I don't want to be a hermit. You can maybe prevent that from happening.
I'll try not to be shy about asking for help. But you can check in sometimes. I might not even know what I need. Random acts of kindness are always in style. And please don't take this the wrong way; I'm all full up on dessert.