Sometimes you just gotta talk about it

Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. ~ Miles Franklin

That has always been a favorite quotation of mine. It rings true for so many situations ... when someone is telling you a story (maybe for the 20th time), remember - there's the telling (for the teller) and the hearing (for the hearer). Sometimes those purposes overlap, but ... when I find someone rambling about something which doesn't concern me, or downright bores me, I try to remind myself: they need to TELL someone. It's a NEED.

So the other night I sat with Ian and "rehashed" a bit of the drama which unfolded 2 years ago this week. 

I've shared with people who weren't necessarily connected to us at that time - it's new and fresh to them, so I hit the high points and stress the transformation. I've rehashed the story with people who WERE with us during the tumult*. Many have read the blog, IAN's read the blog, he's been told by me, his mom, my dad, guys at church ... pieces of what happened over those weeks. 

There is usefulness, I suppose, because he doesn't remember anything up until he was transferred to the rehab facility. The hospital part is all so vivid to me, and the rest who were there, but to him ... pretty much a blank. Although he DOES have bits and pieces of "memories" which didn't actually happen (like being CERTAIN Audrey was just down the hall, also with a breathing apparatus, hospitalized.  Or that I was visited by the CACO officer in the hallway to ... do that whole "Mrs. Maize we regret to inform you" thing. Lousy nightmares, those.)

I can't believe he doesn't remember seeing the room sideways, or when it took 4 of us to move his legs to walk into the bathroom, or getting the feeding tube and being so angry they weren't starting actual food into it... all this before he was sedated in the slightest. So I told him all about it. Again.

But not for him.

For me.

It was good to think about it again. Make it real instead of such a shadow. Did all that really happen?? Really? Has it only been two years? Did I really eat and sleep and shower at the hospital for over a week straight without leaving (with folks taking care of the kids and house that entire time)?? Was it THAT serious?

Yes.  Nod your head yes - affirm me.

I'm so happy with how far we've come. What we've OVERcome. How blessed we are, how amazing others have been to us. I don't dwell on the ugly memories.

It's just nice necessary to talk about them sometimes.

*My sincerest apologies if I've been a broken record. I really haven't meant to bore you with rehashing. Somehow when it pops into the mind, it has to come out of the mouth, to give it a name, a face, and let it gently pass by. Thank you kindly for your gracious ears.