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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." ~Aristotle

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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

It's a rainy day today. I love rainy days.  (They usually cheer me up) I'm sad today, but the weather is at least matching.  no blaring brightness and "how can it be sunny out there when things are so terrible in here - the audacity of that sun!"

The hospital window is dirty; it's probably been years since they've been cleaned.  Then again, how would I know how dirty windows get downtown? Anyway, I have this giant urge to clean it, but of course it does not open.

I decided to spend some time on the computer today, to keep my hands busy and my brain ... elsewhere kinda, but also to do the "normal" thing; I like to see people's updates on facebook, talking about normal goings-on, even when sometimes I resent them at the same time. 

Ian was confused and got himself out of bed last night; I woke up to him sitting on the floor, unattached from all his wires and iv.  Bummer.  He accidentally pulled his feeding tube out this morning (it's still not installed all the way), so that had to be re-inserted. No fun.  He gurgles and half-chokes on phlem, which is so hard to listen to ... I've gotten to the point where I can tell by hearing if he's having trouble reaching his suction tube or it's just something he has to resolve on his own.  It makes me feel very callous to do nothing, but as everyone who has someone ill knows, when you can't do anything, you feel helpless.

That's all for now.  

2 comments:

  1. I've started washing my dishes every day, sometimes more than once (as opposed to washing dishes once a week or so) ever since that week you talked about washing dishes after every meal at MOPS. It does make me happier having a clean kitchen everyday. I think about you every time I do the dishes now :) Your cleaning and organization habits are inspiring. I bet you are going crazy over that window!

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  2. Don't have your cell phone number, but HAD to let you know somehow that you and Ian are on my mind and constantly in my prayers. I won't wash windows in your honor today because of the rain, but how 'bout I wash my dishes now?

    Tell Ian there are plenty of other things he could have given up for Lent than swallowing...

    I was part of the prayer group that met at the church last night. You have a fabulous group of friends around you Rachel and at some point you've GOT to feel rested and peaceful because everyone is pounding on the Throne Room for you in that regard :)

    Love and hugs coming your way. Ron's got South Side faculty holding you up too...

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