Fun Fact

After eating, the housefly regurgitates its food and eats it again.

Bits and Pieces

So like everything else we encounter in life, this whole ADD situation is a learning experience. You, dear reader, get the benefit of learning along with us, if you so choose.

The first thing to point out is the distinction between ADD and ADHD. The "H" stands for Hyperactivity, and Audrey does not suffer from this particular aspect. She is quite able to sit still, assuming the activity is a challenge and/or captures her attention (hence the issue with behavior in class as it correlates with easy class work). This is also why people are surprised to hear that Audrey struggles with ADD; they, too, have the idea that it is all about having the crazies. Not so.

The issue with an ADD brain is that it is unable/less able to process executive functions; that is, to compartmentalize, to organize, to clear the brain of clutter and focus on the task at hand. All of this occurs (or does not) in the frontal lobe of the brain.

How does this look for Audrey? *

She can't/doesn't withhold information. If it's in her head, it's out of her mouth. (You may know adults with diarrhea of the mouth as well, but that's a different issue ;)  She is especially prone to correcting others, both teachers and other students, at completely inappropriate times. Where as this may seem like "smart-ass" behavior, I can assure you that, in fact, she has no clue that she is being rude; when it is brought to her attention she gets quite upset. We're talking about an obedient (generally), sweet (except to her brother) kid - and when she comes off as bratty and unfriendly, (and it's brought to her attention) she's quite distraught. The crux, then, is that no matter how upset she gets about it in retrospect, she doesn't carry the lesson over to the next time a situation presents itself. There's no "pause => reflect => choose" button.

She is painfully literal. Her verbal and reading skills are amazing, but nuances escape her. She'll miss social cues. Everything is black and white - right or wrong. If the teacher gives a direction which is the least bit vague, she is stumped. Inference and interpreting are surprisingly, for someone so sharp, at times non-existent. The only example I can come up with right now: in kindergarten, her teacher had the class draw pictures of themselves. Mrs. H commented with amusement that when she asked, "Do you have grass under your feet?", Audrey looked under her own chair. The question was not, "does the picture of yourself have grass under her feet?" or "is there grass under the person on your paper?" ... the exact sentence threw her because it was taken at face value.

This literal nature and obliviousness leads to a deficit in interpersonal development. Audrey has more than once hurt someone's feelings enough at school for the teacher to be contacted -- if you know her that may shock you, but perhaps when you hear that she said, "You can't read," to the kid who ... well, can't ... you can understand the issue. It's not that she was saying, "I can read, you can't, nyahnyahnyah," but rather, A=B. "You cannot read. You are not permitted to choose a book from this section of the library based on that fact. These are books for reading kids." In fact, along with ensuring the rules are being followed (another compulsion), I think she actually considers herself being helpful in these situations.

She is accident prone, physically awkward and self-unaware. She isn't phased by hair flying about into her face (which drives me batty, so I can't relate at ALL), into her food ... She's tall for her age, so I was apt to consider her physical behavior the result of lankiness and growth spurts ... but the truth is, she flails, crashes, walks on tip-toes, frequently injures herself in bizarre ways, and lacks situational awareness. Her clothing is nearly always dirty in some way (yes, I know, kids have accidents and spill things, but trust me; this is above and beyond).

I am well aware of how some of these scenarios appear from the outside. If you didn't know Audrey and read this blog, you might think I'm deluding myself into thinking I have an angelic first grader who never does anything wrong, intentionally or otherwise.

Far from it.

You may also insist that "kids will be kids" and "all kids mature at different rates," etcetc. Yes. And no.

I know my own kid, and I know that among her many sins and faults, being willfully disobedient, not attending to what is asked of her, and insulting/being unkind to others are NOT her bent. And pondering some oddities from infant through age seven, I see stuff.

I can't possibly summarize my kid in a blog post, or can I rehash seven years of her life, our lives ... so I'm bound to be leaving out something that help the reader experience a clearer picture. All I can offer is a periodic update on this aspect of Team Maize, thank you for your MANY kind words of encouragement and for sharing your personal experiences -- both publicly and privately -- and do my best to muddle through this parenting thing, one day at a time.

* Note: I hope that in my outlaying Audrey's shortcomings no one thinks I'm using a public forum to bash my daughter. I love her dearly, she is my first born, my sidekick, my mini-me. I watch others "get a load of her" and it makes me smile; she's striking in personality, not because of an attention-seeking nature but because of a genuine interest in everyone and everything around her. She's engaging. She makes adults smile (some kids don't know what to do with her, I think) and she's always ready for a conversation with anyone about anything. I love my daughter, I appreciate her strengths, am beginning to seek clarity on her weaknesses, and I support her all the while.

Fun Fact

The male house wren builds several nests as part of his courtship ritual.  After the nests are completed, his potential bride looks them all over and then selects one as her preferred choice for the laying of her eggs.

And the Light Bulb Comes Out of the Box

If you know my daughter, you know she's bright.

Scary bright, really.

We had her tested for the Gifted program at school; not because we needed a sheet of paper to prove she was a smart cookie; but because this year we've run into fairly significant issues with her behavior in the classroom.

I can hear you, you know - I can feel the vibrations of your murmurings: "SHE'S BORED!!!"

While I don't disagree with you, we've been confronted with a different truth: although not qualified for a Gifted designation, Audrey DOES fit neatly into an ADHD profile.

See, I can still hear you ... stop shaking your head!! Bear with me, ok?

A year ago, or less, perhaps, I would have scoffed at any suggestion of the sort. I "KNEW" ADHD when I saw it ... the boy with ants in his pants who certainly wouldn't sit down to read a book (as she does -- often), is in need of medication (this concept directly in opposition to my opinion about the over-medication of children - I'm a hypocrite, and I'm willing to admit it), and/or a stronger means of discipline.

But after speaking to her teachers, the school psychologist, and an independent psychologist who did a THOROUGH investigation and interview, Ian and I are comfortable with this diagnosis.

In fact, I'm relieved.

It's amazing how filling out those forms with the little check boxes and rating scales gave me immediate grace for -- and understanding of -- my daughter. Being smart doesn't make her able to organize her thoughts, her tasks, her BODY ... anything. Being mature doesn't cover the inability to control outbursts in the classroom and saying things which inadvertantly hurt others. Being 7 doesn't mean she's finally self-aware enough to keep her hair out of her food ... there's simply a missing piece, a brain misfire, an issue in the frontal lobe.

Lord knows the Maizes know enough about the brain to give it due respect.

And so, dear reader, I throw this out to cyberspace for a number of reasons:

1. if you've seen me do what you believe is going overboard in my dealing with Audrey ... shouting, becoming insanely frustrated, making a big deal out of her responses to me, insisting she obey me immediately, getting in her FACE out stuff ... know that these have all become part of my coping mechanism for something invisible which has now come to light.

2. if you have experienced the joy of my daughter (and truly, she is a joy - a lover of people, a charming, funny kid, quirky and crazy and wonderful), you can look for the things I describe and nod in agreement with me ... and perhaps try a different tac if you need to get her to ingest some pertenent information.

3. if you've heard me grumble or roll my eyes about ADHD in general, I'm sorry; it's not that I denied its existence, or even dismissed the need for medication to be given ... just that without a full understanding of the syndrome itself, I was prone to oversimplification and suspicion. For this academic laziness, I apologize.

4. if you've been down this road: we are about to begin our journey of special school accomodations, therapy/counseling and parental education. You may hear about some of it. If you have comments, especially of a constructive, experienced nature, I'd love to receive them. (FYI: we are not yet on a medication plan. This may come later, if the above provisions do not suffice).

The Saga of the Painted (Upholstered) Chair

This summer I did a fun project which elicited much commentary via facebook.

"You're doing WHAT?!"

So I thought I'd lay it all out here, so you can check it out and weigh in if you'd like :)

I was inspired by This Blog and I knew I had to give it a shot! I bought two identical chairs from a friend, fully intending to give them this treatment; the fabric's in great shape, but it's PINK.

Here are the Pink Lovelies, having a chat.

I bought a can of plain 'ol latex paint at Lowe's: I forget the color name, sorry (my neighbor calls it Ooblek Green. He's not far off).

You'll need mixing containers, a spray bottle of water, foam paint brushes (the GOOD kind, not the cheap, crappy ones), a small "regular-ish" paint brush and FABRIC MEDIUM. This is what makes the paint not crack and goo and blick. (Those are technical terms.)  You can find it with the paints at your local craft store - you will need a bunch, depending on your size of furniture and type of fabric.

I'm not going to fuss with a tutorial here - you can visit the above site.  But here are the before, during and after photos.

The chair is not "crunchy." It does not feel like velor, but it also doesn't feel like burlap. More like a starched linen or duck cloth (or painted canvas, naturally).

I plan to paint the other chair, although I we haven't settled on a color yet. Hence, it sits in all its pink glory, awaiting Spring.

eeeew! this could have been discouraging ...

Must. Have. Patience.  This is AFTER one coat.

TA-DA!!

Whaddya think??

Fun Fact

About seven million cars are junked every year in the United States.

Come in, This is No Sugar. Do you read me?

Except for the Christmas letter and small, random updates, things have been quiet here at No Sugar.

There are many reasons: busy-ness, perfectionism, lack of inspiration, internally pooh-poohing my own thoughts and opinions...  "Who (of the many readers who follow this blog due to Ian's story last spring) cares about my favorite restaurant, the miserable customer service I encountered, my son's proclivities or my daughter's quirks?

And really, the answer to that should be is this: "I write this for me. If you don't want to read it, there's a little red and white 'x' up there. Use it."

I have come to realize that what used to be a creative outlet and diversion to me has become a news-only station. So fair warning; I'm manually adjusting the dial and returning you to your (semi)regularly scheduled programming. Buckle up.